Magician for hire. Will work for boob.

The only real magicians in this world are babies. I know that this is a bold statement and I'm sure that you David Blaine fans out there will argue with me, but I believe this with all my heart. I have created a list of evidence to prove my point.

Item one: The shrinking cheerio trick. Ben puts the cheerio in his mouth, covers it in drool, places it back on the high chair tray and ten minutes later it is mini. Amazing!

Item two: Mind control skills. Ben can make his Mommy and Daddy do anything he wants by either smiling, crying, or saying "dada" in that irresistable breathy whisper.

Item three: The expanding cheerio trick. Ben puts the cheerio in his mouth, covers it in drool, chews it up, spits it out, and covers ten square feet in cheerio mush.

Item four: The super poop trick (Colin's favorite). Ben can eat four ounces of baby food and when it comes out the other end it has expanded to ten times it's original volume! Ta Da!

Item five: Hypnosis. Much like baby snakes and their potent poison, Ben's hypnosis was much stronger when he was first born. I can't even remember some of the terrible tyrannical things that Ben did to us, because I was in such a fog. When I wasn't blocking out the spit up and colic, I was staring into his eyes for hours because I couldn't believe that he was mine. This trick is really impressive but Ben only uses it at bedtime these days in order to stay up longer.

Item Six: The finale. In the vein of David Copperfield's disappearing airplane. Ben has managed to change a human heart. Yes you heard me right. "But how?" you say, listen and be amazed. When I found out I was pregnant with Ben, Colin was shocked. He was unsure of our future and only until Ben was born did Colin seem at peace with being a daddy. I was sure that it would be difficult to convince Colin to ever have another one. I was sure that down the road sometime, I would have to delicately inform Colin that he would be a father of two. I was wrong.

Let me clarify, I AM NOT PREGNANT! (But I thought I was yesterday.) I told my dear husband that we might be in for a crazy year and instead of freaking out, he said "Oh good, I was thinking that other day when I was playing with Ben, that I want another baby." This shocked me! Anyway, I took the test and it ended up negative and I was jumping for joy. Colin on the other hand cried. (I'm sure he'll love me for telling you all that a grown man cried.) He was sad that I wasn't pregnant. He had decided that because Ben was more wonderful than he had ever imagined, he wanted more kids! This is truly the most magical trick that I have seen Ben perform. He changed a person's heart.

Leave it to the babies to do all of the magic tricks folks, it comes easy to them.
And, if I still haven't convinced any of you stage magic fans, then by all means, enjoy the show! But I promise, Ben could do it better.

Thanksgiving

This year we Smith's have celebrated many firsts. Too many to name, really, but I am reminded of how special they all are during the season of thanks. I guess this is just going to be a list of the things that have taught me how to love life with my baby boy and Colin, good and bad!

I am thankful for:

-God's amazing grace.
-The opportuniy I have been given to raise a child of God.
-Every smile that Benjamin has ever shown me.
-My marriage, which gets better every day.
-Patience.
-Tiny hands and toes.
-Baby kisses, especially wet ones!
-Sleeping Ben.
-Bedtimes and structured schedules.
-Technology and our new endless limits of communication.
-The fact that babies forgive you while you learn how to be a good parent.
-Showers.
-Disposable diapers.
-Coffee.
-Ben's laugh.
-A loving husband who works so hard.
-Ben's first tooth. Because it is SO CUTE!
-The way that Babies trust us with every ounce of their being. God gave us a perfect model of how our relationship with Him should be.
-My little family and the closeness that we share.
-My own Mommy.
-My big extended family. Even the ones that hurt me over and over, because I have learned how to extend so much grace and patience because of them.
-The opportunity to share my thoughts with friends and family in this blog.

Happy belated Thanksgiving everyone!

~Erin

Great expectations...out the window

Hello to all! I'm sorry that I haven't posted in a while. Life has been crazy around here. As some of you know, we recently moved to Marysville, WA and Colin has a fantastic new job! I am also able to stay home and not work (for money :P) now because of our new geographic and vocational change. Yay! And, now that we are caught up, here's the fun stuff.

Ever since Ben graced us with his presence, my life and brain have been in a constant state of change. I think the biggest difference I see in myself is how I deal with other people's opinions and advice. My big epiphany came when I realized how angry and guilty I felt after having an emergency c-section after 24 hours of labor. I had been in the hospital for a full week before Ben was born and I thought that even though the last week of my pregnancy was not as I had planned it, I was expecting the birth itself to be perfect. I was planning on a drug-free, calm, smooth experience. Obviously that didn't happen.

I remember holding my sweet boy for the first time alone and thinking "Thank you God, he is so perfect, but I wish that I could have had a natural birth, that would make him even more perfect." This is when the gigantic hand came down from heaven and smacked me on the face. I realized then and there that I had become a sponge, soaking up whatever my family and friends had told me was the "right way to do things." I had been pushed from all directions to have a natural birth, because natural is best, and if you don't go natural, your baby will be born with four arms and cry pesticides instead of tears. (As you can see from my last statement I have a bit of a chip on my shoulder)

Anyway, what I ended up concluding is that I have a perfect baby boy because of God's grace. That's it, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. I have learned to trust my own instincts when it comes to parenting and taking care of my family. I can now listen to people politely but I don't feel guilty anymore because I made a decision that went against a friend or family member's advice. I have to say that I feel liberated and free these days because I am doing what I think is right and I am trusting God to push me in the right direction. And believe me, when it's time to hold another sweet new baby for the first time, I will think (c-section and all) "Thank you God for my beautiful child, this is perfect, because you made this."

Johnny Cash and goosebumps

There is no music in the world that can make me cry and give me goosebumps like the man in black, Mr. Johnny Cash. I was sitting here with Ben on my knee, trying to check my mail, when he started fussing. I was inspired to put some music on and as I put on "Bridge Over Troubled Water" Ben calmed down. The perfect harmony of Johhny and June's voices made my eyes start water and I whispered to my baby boy "someday Ben, you'll listen to this music and it will change you, because it changed me"

I guess the purpose of this post is really to thank my Daddy. I can't blame anyone in the world for making me love music other than my father. I can remember rainy days when we would put on "Bob Marley: Legend" and we would dance around the living room until I had an asthma attack. Or those days when I felt sad, Dad would put on some Bob Dylan or Buffalo Springfield and I let the music feel sad for me.

Colin and I have talked a lot about how we want to raise Ben and some things we aren't sure about yet, but one thing is for sure, he will grow up in a home full of music. Just like I did. One day he will thank us for it.

Little baby, big mess

Over the past five months Colin and I have really enjoyed the world of being parents. We think that our baby is cuter than all other babies, we have an unhealthy obsession with Ben's poo (consistency, texture, regularity, etc.), Ben has been sleeping through the night since he was ten weeks old, I can't stop buying baby clothes (we may look like bums but Ben is one well dressed lad), and our hearts are full to the brim with love for our new lil guy. I would say that we have no complaints but that would be a lie I have one...

One complaint that is, CLUTTER. Yes clutter, and the worst kind of all, baby clutter. I feel as though baby clutter can only be related effectively to a disease. It starts out small, unobtrusive even but over time it grows into a huge pulsating mess of tiny socks and large primary colored toys. We began with a dresser of clothes, a crib and a bouncy seat. That didn't last long. Ben needed a swing, and a stroller, and a garish play mat with a billion dangling toys, next the mother of all eyesores...The exersaucer. For those of you who aren't familiar with these monstrosities, please see the picture above


I am not sure if there is a solution to this problem, and to be honest, if it makes Benjamin happy, then we'll do whatever it takes. But I will say, Ben, you can have your A.D.D. causing exersaucer, but I draw the line at a bounce house. Period, paragraph!

The "now I get it" moment

For all of you who have children, I thought that you were all crazy for the past four months. Ben started out life as just a little "peanut" as the nurses called him. He was cute but fussy. He took to breastfeeding like a champ but he wanted to eat ALL THE TIME. I remember many days in the first few months where I would hold a screaming baby for hours and wonder "why the heck do we have kids? There is no reward in this non-stop, unpaid job." I asked Colin if he had any idea why we had a baby and he gave me an answer that I won't write here but needless to say , it didn't help. I finally Called my wonderful sister-in-law Heather who has three boys and at the time was pregnant with her fourth (a girl)! I asked her "Does this ever get better? Will I ever be rewarded for my work?" She told me "you'll see, You'll know in a few months." And I did.

Ben had been practicing his smiles in his sleep for us. One day when he was about 14 weeks old I was playing with him on the bed after his morning feeding. I was kissing him and tickling his feet and then all of a sudden something changed in his eyes and a big smile came across his whole face. I felt my eyes start to sting and then I cried. "He's a real boy!" I sobbed. Now two months later at four and a half months old, I get all kinds of fun smiles, giggles and even snuggles from my Ben, but I can still remember the days when I didn't get it. Now, I SO get it.

Thank heaven for little boys

Dearest Benjamin,

The past four and a half months of my life have been the best that I have ever had. On March 28th, 2006 you were born and my world was turned upside down. I never knew that I could love a little five pound baby so much and my love has grown exponentially every day. I want to write this blog for you. I want to document every little thing that you do that makes me smile, cry, or laugh. I love you little guy, you are my sunshine.

Love,
Your Mommy