Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Magician for hire. Will work for boob.
The only real magicians in this world are babies. I know that this is a bold statement and I'm sure that you David Blaine fans out there will argue with me, but I believe this with all my heart. I have created a list of evidence to prove my point.
Item one: The shrinking cheerio trick. Ben puts the cheerio in his mouth, covers it in drool, places it back on the high chair tray and ten minutes later it is mini. Amazing!
Item two: Mind control skills. Ben can make his Mommy and Daddy do anything he wants by either smiling, crying, or saying "dada" in that irresistable breathy whisper.
Item three: The expanding cheerio trick. Ben puts the cheerio in his mouth, covers it in drool, chews it up, spits it out, and covers ten square feet in cheerio mush.
Item four: The super poop trick (Colin's favorite). Ben can eat four ounces of baby food and when it comes out the other end it has expanded to ten times it's original volume! Ta Da!
Item five: Hypnosis. Much like baby snakes and their potent poison, Ben's hypnosis was much stronger when he was first born. I can't even remember some of the terrible tyrannical things that Ben did to us, because I was in such a fog. When I wasn't blocking out the spit up and colic, I was staring into his eyes for hours because I couldn't believe that he was mine. This trick is really impressive but Ben only uses it at bedtime these days in order to stay up longer.
Item Six: The finale. In the vein of David Copperfield's disappearing airplane. Ben has managed to change a human heart. Yes you heard me right. "But how?" you say, listen and be amazed. When I found out I was pregnant with Ben, Colin was shocked. He was unsure of our future and only until Ben was born did Colin seem at peace with being a daddy. I was sure that it would be difficult to convince Colin to ever have another one. I was sure that down the road sometime, I would have to delicately inform Colin that he would be a father of two. I was wrong.
Let me clarify, I AM NOT PREGNANT! (But I thought I was yesterday.) I told my dear husband that we might be in for a crazy year and instead of freaking out, he said "Oh good, I was thinking that other day when I was playing with Ben, that I want another baby." This shocked me! Anyway, I took the test and it ended up negative and I was jumping for joy. Colin on the other hand cried. (I'm sure he'll love me for telling you all that a grown man cried.) He was sad that I wasn't pregnant. He had decided that because Ben was more wonderful than he had ever imagined, he wanted more kids! This is truly the most magical trick that I have seen Ben perform. He changed a person's heart.
Leave it to the babies to do all of the magic tricks folks, it comes easy to them.
And, if I still haven't convinced any of you stage magic fans, then by all means, enjoy the show! But I promise, Ben could do it better.
Posted by E. E. Smith