Literally wonderful

I have so very much enjoyed my book club as of late. Last month we read a really amazing book called "Look Me In The Eye" by John Elder Robison. It is a memoir (my favorite genre)about a man with Aspergers syndrome. Really insightful and probably the cleanest book that I have read in a while. No *ahem* intimate scenes, just the occasional bad word. I highly recommend it to anyone who enjoys people studies. We also had a fun dessert theme this past month and we all brought desserts from the cook book by Jessica Seinfeld "Deceptively Delicious." I made some fantastic blueberry oatmeal bars with pureed spinach in them. Surprisingly yummy.

This month we are reading a novel titled "Away" by Amy Bloom. It has a very pretty cover. That's all that I like about it right now. I am just not able to get into it so far. Maybe things will change.

My big treat came today when my delightful mother-in-law volunteered to watch Ben for the afternoon. I started reading "Away", got four chapters in and then decided that I'd had enough and I was going to paint. After I cleaned up the house. So once i was finished nursing Gemma and tidying up, I painted a really nice picture for our living room. I'm actually quite proud of it. I think that I will buy a frame for it with my fun money. I've posted a picture for your viewing pleasure! Anyway, thank you Patty for my relaxing "me time" I really enjoyed myself! That's about all for now. Happy reading and painting to you.

Wook! Maw-sit!

The mind of a child is a curious thing. I thought that I understood kids very well but that was before I hatched two of them. I feel like learning about your kids can wear you out and frustrate you. Parents, ever heard this?

"Wook! Maw-sit!"
"What was that Ben? look at what?"
"Maw-sit"
"I don't understand"
"Maw-sit"
"Mom sit?"
"MAW-SIT" (jabs finger into stuffed monster)
"Ohhhhh, monster. Yes Ben that is a nice monster"

Note to Mommy, maw-sit equals monster. I do this daily, learn new words in Ben-ese. If I didn't do it, almost nobody would understand him and how frustrating would that be for Ben? This is my job folks. I interpret made up languages, change poopy diapers, force-feed veggies even if I have to puree them, comfort hurt and sick babies and save the world* on a daily basis.
*Saving the world often means finding a favorite lost toy.


I don't honestly feel that I could be the best mom for Ben if I didn't understand that the word for snack is "nat" or that he is calmed down during a tantrum by chewing on a soggy brown blanket fondly named "Yucky." And that's another thing. Ben names things. His Blankets are "yucky" and "cozy". The stuffed animals are "Zaz" the moose, "Kimmit"the penguin, "Sero" the monkey and "Ginger" the horse. Names are important to him.

Gemma is another story all together. She is so different from Ben. Of course she is only two and a half months old but I already know so much about her. She only fusses when she wants something. Usually it's food, a new diaper or a nap but lately she has started fussing when she feels lonely. This is a new thing for me. If any of you know Ben he is very independent. He never wants to cuddle, he plays by himself most of the time and for a while if I tried to feed him he would refuse to eat unless he put the food in his mouth by himself. But, Gemma loves people. She thrives when she is being held and cuddled and looked at. She will actually sleep in my arms, a rare occurrence for Ben even when he was first born.

I can't even imagine what it would be like to spend all day away from my babies and expect to know a scrap of insightful info about them. Thank God for stay-at-home mom-ism!

Painting to the White Stripes

Today Benjamin and I had a grand old time finger painting and listening to the crunchy rock'n'roll of The White Stripes. We sat at the dining table and basked in the blinding sunlight while we both smeared paint around with sponges, brushes and best of all, our hands. At first Ben was trying to avoid getting his hands gloopy. He kept saying "messy, messy." Eventually, he went in for the kill and stuck his hand in a blob of red paint.

I painted a rocket ship in space and Ben decided to copy me. His first piece was titled "rocket." His second piece was titled "banana muffin cupcake." The first picture actually looked like he was trying to copy mine it was pretty neat. Maybe he'll be an artist someday.

After Ben had lunch, threw a fit because there was no more paint, and then went upstairs for his nap wile proclaiming loudly, "rock on!" I decided to write a blog about it all.

While uploading my pictures, I was nursing Gemma at the computer and she got inspired by Ben's works of art. She attempted to create a very abstract painting of a mom. It was me sitting in a chair with vomit covering my arm, leg and crotch. She was very thorough in covering her canvas. Obviously spit-up was her medium and I was the unassuming canvas. She titled her piece "vommy mommy." I got to go express my artistic feelings with the washing machine. I really poured that soap with flare. Too bad it got washed away. Honestly, I had a great afternoon. Rock on!

Chatter box

Ben is such a little chatter box! When he is around people that he is comfortable with, he will not stop talking! I'm just going to record a few funny things that he has said recently so that I don't forget them.

At my parents house, we were having dinner and Ben was asked if the thought Gemma was pretty. He replied matter of factly "she's sick."

That same night while eating he refused to eat his lasagna which he usually loves. We asked if he wanted to eat his dinner and he shifted his gaze to the full plate of food and slowly shook his head while saying "I don't like it" with much disgust.

Ben heard me saying "Oh Gemma Gemma" and "Oh Gemma Lou." He now walks around the house when hears Gemma crying saying "Oooh Gemma Gemma Gemma, oooh Gemma Wooo" (he can't say L's).

Last night at Colin's parent's house we were all being chattered at by Ben during dinner. He decided to give a full narrative of the movie 'Finding Nemo' which he watched in it's entirety while perched atop his "ginger horsey." It went something like this:
"Nemo, Dowee (Dory)"
"Scary shrap (shark), water, mine, mine, mine"
"Finding...Nemo, Goot...movie"
"Goot...movie"
"Happened? Finding...Nemo"
"Swim Down, Fish, Bad, Arr Arr"
"Yeah! happened?"
"Goot movie."
"watch it, show, goot...movie"
"Oh baby"

Repeat five times. I have no idea where the "oh baby" came from.

Ben was given a Curious George jack-in-the-box by his Grandma patty and Grandpa Stan. He enjoyed watching us turn the crank for him, but was frustrated when he tried to do it himself. He soon figured out that he could make the monkey pop by pressing the little release on the lid. I tried to show him how fun it was to wait for the monkey but as I was helping him turn the crank he got impatient and clenched his teeth and glared at the box. He then growled "Hey! You! Monkeeeey!." It had us all in stitches.

Ben loves to listen to music. He will often request to listen to "Harray Connuck" and "Johnny...pause...Cashhh"

Of course, if you ask Ben to repeat any of this he will just look at you, smile, and say "Noooo" in a very agreeable and high pitched tone.

Mommy time a la book club

Over the past two years, I haven't taken much time for myself. I can remember very few days when I was able to enjoy time all alone. that is one of the hardest things for me to deal with as a mom. I can take a lot of crap (literally) from my kids. I love watching them grow and knowing that I helped make them who they are. However, it can be a bit draining for this mommy to not have alone time. I LOVE alone time.

So, in order to give myself a little break, I joined my playgroup's book club. I felt so good about myself when I actually finished a WHOLE book (Water For Elephants by Sarah Gruen). The kicker was that I got to go and have a girls night and talk with my friends about what we read. I know that lots of people have been in book clubs, but this is my first and I am loving it.

Of course we talked about the book but we also spent a good amount of time laughing. We heard stories about a deranged ex-boy friend who still sucked his thumb, moms who nursed their kids to age five and older, and of course we all shared stories and asked for advice about our own kiddos. I had a great time. Colin, if you read this, thanks so much for letting me abandon you for a night! I owe you one.

The Smith children's inheritance.

I am proud to announce that my children have already received their inheritance from Colin and me. However, it's not money. They have been given our eczema, my big cheeks, Colin's beautiful eyes, and a treasure trove of odd personality quirks. I feel bad for our kids that they have to have some of these traits but I guess that in order to get the good stuff like musical ability and long skinny fingers, you have to take the eczema and in-grown toenails with grace.

I am really awestruck every day when I wake up and see myself and the person that I love the most in the world (Colin) manifested in two amazing children. However, I feel guilty when I see poor little Gemma with a crusty rash all over her face that is the fault of both me and Colin since we both have eczema. Then I remember that she also has my thick hair. It took me a while to like my hair, but now I love it. Ben has Colin's sturdy frame, which makes it hard to lift him, but he also has his sweet and mellow disposition. Of course they aren't exactly like us, but it is just so neat to see what they did inherit.

Anyhow, I'm not sure where I wanted to go with this, but I wanted to put up a couple pictures to show how Ben inherited my "squink eye."

Happy "Kriffitz" from the Smiths

I know that it's the day after Christmas, but I want to extend warm holiday greetings to all of our wonderful friends and family. We had such a busy day but we made it through and Ben only had one tantrum all day. It was of course when we made him get off of his new trike from Uncle Ryan and Auntie Elisabet and go to bed. I sympathized greatly.

Ben was super excited for a few weeks for Christmas. He calls it "Kriffitz." We tried to teach him to say "Merry Christmas" but alas, he has not mastered the r's and l's yet so we opted for "Happy Christmas" instead. Ben also learned some fun words like present, rip and crap. I know that crap isn't the most festive word, but despite all of my sheltering, he has learned a bad word. I first heard it when he asked his favorite question "what's that?"for the 500th time a few days ago. He pointed at the beautiful bounty of presents at my parents house and said "wazzat?." I answered "Ben you know what that is. Why don't you tell me what that is." He looked at me proudly and said "cwap." Amidst the one bad word, Ben did learn about Jesus and has had a great time singing songs about Christmas and our savior. It hasn't all been a bust right?

Gemma obviously didn't appreciate Christmas like Ben did, but we were surprised with how much she loves the lights. She actually calms down when she sees them and they put her into a trance which then puts her to sleep. Very nice! We have a feeling that next year the lights won't put her to sleep. Especially with big brother explaining the magic and wonder of ripping paper to shreds and playing with boxes. I enjoyed the fact that all of "Gemma's" presents ended up being cute clothes that I will enjoy more than anyone else. Thanks Gemma maybe next year you can have presents that are actually for you!

We hope that you all had a beautiful and blessed season celebrating the light of our world, Jesus. Happy 2008! Let normal, everyday life begin, I'm done with holidays for a year!

Get your 1000 words ready. Gemma pictures are here!

Baby Gemma

Some people have asked why we chose the name Gemma and there has been some confusion as well involving the pronunciation. here's the scoop!

We chose the name Gemma because it means "a precious gem" and we want our daughter to know how special she is to our family. It is very popular in many other countries, it just hasn't caught on here yet! If you are confused as to how to pronounce her name, her is the correct pronunciation as well as some info and a graph showing how popular it is in every country but the US.

The girl's name Gemma \ge(m)-ma\ is pronounced JEM-ah. It is of Latin origin, and its meaning is "precious gem, jewel". Saint Gemma was an Italian saint canonized in 1940. She was an ordinary young woman whose religious life included manifestations of the stigmata, or the marks of Christ's wounds.

Parental Pride

Isn't it funny how since the dawn of time, parents have thought that their children are the smartest or funniest or best looking kids that have ever been? I'll tell you, I'm no different.

First there is Ben. He is amazing and every day he comes up with new sentences and learns at least three new words. He makes connections that I never see coming. Like yesterday, when he got his immunization he got a piece of chocolate from my mom as a treat afterward. When we got in the car that evening I told him that we were going to see my parents because it was Granboppa's birthday. He shook his head back and forth saying "nooo".... "doctor, owie, hurt....Chocolate!" My jaw dropped. My son is so smart!

Next there is Gemma. She is so darn cute. I am just in love with her face and people who aren't related to me tell me that she is just the cutest so I know that I'm not completely crazy. Also, she is so good. She sleeps in two big chunks of time each night and only wakes us up once. She is also a master nurser at only two weeks.

Okay, I think that's enough bragging. I'm pretty sure that I'm the only one who reads my blog, so I don't feel too bad about this shameless promotion of my babies.

~Erin

Back in Business

Hello again. Life has certainly changed since the last blog. I took an extended vacation from blogging because it was getting hard for me to write a blog that wasn't masterfully written and it was taking too long, so I stopped altogether. I wish that I hadn't. I missed out on recording so many special moments because I didn't want to write a blip, I wanted an article. I have changed.

I might occasionally write a blog that has the feel of a Dave Barry article, but from now on it will just be special things that are said or maybe even just a picture. Now that that's out of the way, I'd like to update you all on our lives over the past year.

First off, I got pregnant again and gave birth by repeat c-section to a beautiful baby girl. Gemma Noelle Smith was born at 11:23am on December 5th of 2007. She weighed 7lbs 3oz. She has my cheeks and nose and she has Colin's eyes. We love her so much. I went a week overdue this time and was quite uncomfortable those last weeks. Benjamin is a great big brother. Aside from the occasional ball that has been thrown at Gemma's face, Ben has really taken to his "sissou." He actually says Gemma perfectly.

So that's all I'm going to do for now. I'll try to write memories from the past year and update as often as possible.

~Erin

When Ben "Lost His Starch"

My dad had spring break off from his schooling and Colin had to go to California for a business trip. My parents invited Benjamin and myself to go to our old hometown, Bend, Oregon to show of our not so new "new baby." I was really excited to go on this trip. I hadn't taken time off for awhile and even though Colin wouldn't be around, I couldn't wait to see relatives and old friends.

We packed up the car with everything including Ben's acidophilus powder that I gave him every morning in his applesauce. It was supposed to be refrigerated, but my mom packed it in ice in a tupperware and we went on our way.

Cut to six hours later. Ben was a perfect child and he didn't cry at all in the car. He just ate and babbled away. While Ben was making us proud and filling our hearts with love, the acidophilus was growing into a mutated bacteria monster. Ready to attack at any time...

The next morning we all awoke refreshed and our sinuses bleeding from the high desert air. I began my normal routine with the applesauce and acidophilus. Not knowing that I was actively giving my child food poisoning. Had someone known this, they would have ran into the room screaming "nooooooo" in slow motion and knocked the tiny spoon out of my hand. This is actually what I wished had happened, because a spoonful of applesauce would have been easier to clean up than multiple pools of vomit.

I fed Ben all day long like nothing was wrong. He finally objected to some peas and then threw up all over the Klein's dining room floor. It was the motherlode. It was the Cascade waterfalls of Bend, Oregon. Ben just opened his mouth and he gave us a vivid show and tell of his diet that day. It was impressive but disturbing. As you can imagine, I freaked out.

Ben threw up, and threw up, and threw up. I was a mess physically and mentally. Jodi Klein our dear friend and hostess took everything in stride and was truly full of grace. Thank you Jodi. At the end of the night, I finally packed Ben up in the car to take him to our friends house that we were staying with. Jodi let us borrow towels to wrap Ben up in because he had soaked his other outfits and one of her daughter's shirts. With my mom in the back holding a cool whip tub under Ben's mouth, we drove off.

I finally called Colin. The "conversation" went like this:

Erin: "Ben is throwing up" (sobbing begins)
Colin:"Is he okay?"
Erin: (still sobbing)"He's so sad"
Colin:"Erin, is he throwing up right now?"
Erin: (sobbing hysterically) "I just don't know what to do"
Colin: "Erin, calm down. Are you going to be okay?"
Erin: (shorting the phone out with tears) "He's just so little. I love you I'll call you when I can talk...(sob)...Tell you more...I love you..."

Needless to say, neither of us slept well. I stayed up with Ben until 5:30am and finally turned over baby duty to my dad. Thank you Daddy.

The next day Ben was a dishrag. He stayed in our arms all day and ran a fever and pooped his pants off. At one point in the day I overheard my dad on the phone with my grandma. He was appraising her of Ben's situation. I heard him saying "Ben got sick. He has really lost his starch." I had a vision of a sad little sailboat that's sail lost it's starch and drooped. Then he couldn't sail. My mom and I looked at each other knowing that we had had the same vision. We looked at "Starchless Ben." Weeping ensued. We left the next day and welcomed Colin home with an almost re-starched Ben.

The trip was my own personal hell. I was more worried than I had ever been in my life. I absolutely never realized how much of my heart that little boy owned until that fateful day. While remembering how I felt that day, I was reminded of a very famous quote from Elizabeth Stone. it says:

"Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body."

I never understood fully what that quote meant, until I held a very sick and helpless baby, knowing that I could do nothing for him but love him and hurt for him.

I really did learn a few things about myself those few days in Bend. I learned that I am finally a real mom. I have arrived. I can tell you now with tears rolling down my face, that I would have done anything in the world to take my baby boy's pain away. I would have taken his sickness in a heartbeat. If it were possible, I would have absorbed his fever and shaken with chills for days. I would have done anything to erase the past 24 hours of hell that he had gone through. I realized, the one thing that I could do, and that I did do, was love him.

It didn't feel like it was enough at the time, but it was. Because all we can do folks, is love our babies. No matter what. Because they need us all of the time. Especially when they are sick and sad, but all other times too. So my advice to you is, unless you are ready to "forever have your heart go walking around outside your body," don't bother. If you think that you are ready, brace yourselves, you are in for a ride.

Our Pet Baby

Question: Who did it? The baby or a small dog?




Answer: We don't have a dog.

El Nino

I now understand why the weather powers that be named a winter weather pattern "El Ñino." They had young children at home. Shocking, yes, but so true. I personally have experienced my own tiny El Ñino right here in my living room. His name is Ben.

Benjamin just turned ten months old. He has four teeth and he started to crawl about two weeks ago. I was very excited to tell people that my little guy was becoming such a big boy. It seemed, however, that when I announced to friends and family that Ben has passed a major milestone and was now crawling, they were immediately on the other side of the room putting antique vases and delicate knick knacks on the highest shelf possible.

At first, I laughed at these people for being so paranoid. He hadn't made any messes yet, he was just learning how to move on his own. What I didn't realize is that my sunny weather was about to turn into the storm of the century.

As Ben's slow scoot turned into VERY fast crawl our little home turned into a battle ground. Side-tables have been overturned. Books have been pulled off of the shelf and DVDs that used to be in alphabetical order are now lost forever because Ben has managed to push them behind the TV stand. I can't be more thankful for online bills either, because all of our hard copies have been chewed or shredded by our very sweet boy. Thanks Ben! Now we can donate our paper shredder to someone who really needs it.

With all of the new mayhem that Ben has caused, there is also a lot of joy. I am amazed at how smart he is and every day when I wake up to sound of the monitor amplifying Ben's loud talking in his crib, I can't keep the smile from spreading across my face. What a delight to have this child in my home.

Ben may be full of mischief and messes but I know that he isn't trying to be bad, he's just learning. It is my responsibility to tell him no when he is causing trouble, but even more important, it is my responsibility to comfort him when he has bumped his head. It is my responsibility to love him even when he has thrown up on my last clean shirt. Most important, it is my responsibility to share with him the incredible love and forgiveness of our Savior. I won't say that being a parent is easy, but I will say that it is the most wonderful and scary thing that I have ever done or ever will do. To sum up the forecast for the rest of Ben's baby-hood, it is going to be partly cloudy with radiant sun breaks.

Nicknames and Such

"Chim Chim"

Nicknames are a curious thing. Anyone who currently has or has ever raised a baby, would tell you that they have a long mutating string of nicknames for their child. Being a former Richardson, I had a feeling that I would have a bit of a problem with this. My family, as many of you know, is very weird. My brother and I can talk to each other in a made up language and, although we can hold back in public, when we are all toghether we make a strange bunch.

My brother Ryan (or "Unca Rat") gave Ben his first nickname before he was even born. He was "The Cub." Now, Ben has many nicknames. The most popular are as follows : Chim, Chim Chim, Peet, Peety, Poot, Poot Patterson, Bug, Boy, Babykins, Budge, Budgee ... and the list goes on.

I suppose that I should back-track a bit and explain. My parents had a list of nicknames for me and Ryan that could be recited for hours. I grew up being called Rin, Rinny, and Doot. There was even a year when Ryan refused to call my dad anything but Snavely. I'm pretty sure that Ben didn't have a chance.


Although our nicknames are silly, I know that they are universal. In my eyes, I see nicknames as an honor. Other than stupid kids at school, the people that give us our nicknames are the ones that mean the most to us. A nickname is a way of saying , "We love you, we know you better than anyone else, and to show you that, we will call you a name that nobody else knows or understands." Our nicknames are like passports to the inside circle of a family.

Ben will probably decide that he doesn't like to be called Chim someday, most likely when he becomes a teenager. But once he realizes that his nickname is so much more than a silly made up word, I'll bet he'll want it back. Or he will at least ask to be called Chim at home ... just not in front of his buddies. He may even read this someday when he has a baby of his own and get a good laugh, because he will use nicknames too.

Memories, Misty Crayon Colored Memories...

I recently wrote about my mission to organize old pictures and memories. In my quest to find scrapbooking Zen, I stumbled upon the most delightful collection of my second and third grade writing projects and old letters. I was supposed to be cleaning up and I spent the afternoon in stitches and tears over hillarious book reports and touching letters from my late Grandpa Flory.

I ended up wasting even more time by calling my mom and reading her some of my pieces. She loved my book report about Christopher Columbus where I spent three of my four pages talking about how I had to write abook report and that "I was bigger than one first grader." (Classic little Erin) The all around favorite is a book about a bear who wants to make balloons, so he pays a lamb one penny to get the "secret poshen" which I will tell you all now for free. "You take some ruber and take some tape and then put some air and put a string and you have a ballon!" The best part of the book however, is when the lamb exclaims "GOOD GOB." I'm pretty sure that I was trying to say "Good Job!" but "Good Gob" has officially become the Smith Family excliamation of 2007.

In all of my wasted hours I Kept thinking to myself, "I love this stuff, I love kids." I even thought about what fun my teachers had reading the crazy things that us kids imagined up and then it hit me. Ben will make silly books. Ben will make me laugh so hard that I will tear up. I haven't thought about him as a grade-schooler. The idea of my little boy going off to school and coming back with a silly book report makes my heart warm. I can't even imagine the joys that Benjamin will bring me and Colin, but I'm pretty sure that he can come up with something even better than Good Gob.

New Year's Resolution

Happy New Year everyone! I am so glad to welcome the year 2007 and all that it has in store for my little family. I am a believer in New Year Resolutions, not because I can't work on myself during the year, but because I like the feeling of a fresh start. I have a few very poignant resolutions but they aren't fun to write about, so I'm going to tell you about my radical and awesome one.

Organizing memorobilia and pictures. Oh it's a big one. I have boxes and boxes of crap. Well not crap, but it looks like it right now and I am just itching to get it taken care of. So far I have made a dent in only one box and it is currently sprawled on the floor beside me. So I haven't actually made any progress.

I guess the biggest roadblock for me has been Mr. Benjamin. Since that little boy showed up, we have fifteen times our original amount of cards, pictures, mementos, and other clutter, yet with him around I have no time to scrabook, or for that matter, shower. So, I'm just not sure what to do at this point. maybe I'll just pay my mom to do it for me. Ha! Right! I'll come up with something and I'll keep you posted. If you have any suggestions, please let me know.

~Erin

Magician for hire. Will work for boob.

The only real magicians in this world are babies. I know that this is a bold statement and I'm sure that you David Blaine fans out there will argue with me, but I believe this with all my heart. I have created a list of evidence to prove my point.

Item one: The shrinking cheerio trick. Ben puts the cheerio in his mouth, covers it in drool, places it back on the high chair tray and ten minutes later it is mini. Amazing!

Item two: Mind control skills. Ben can make his Mommy and Daddy do anything he wants by either smiling, crying, or saying "dada" in that irresistable breathy whisper.

Item three: The expanding cheerio trick. Ben puts the cheerio in his mouth, covers it in drool, chews it up, spits it out, and covers ten square feet in cheerio mush.

Item four: The super poop trick (Colin's favorite). Ben can eat four ounces of baby food and when it comes out the other end it has expanded to ten times it's original volume! Ta Da!

Item five: Hypnosis. Much like baby snakes and their potent poison, Ben's hypnosis was much stronger when he was first born. I can't even remember some of the terrible tyrannical things that Ben did to us, because I was in such a fog. When I wasn't blocking out the spit up and colic, I was staring into his eyes for hours because I couldn't believe that he was mine. This trick is really impressive but Ben only uses it at bedtime these days in order to stay up longer.

Item Six: The finale. In the vein of David Copperfield's disappearing airplane. Ben has managed to change a human heart. Yes you heard me right. "But how?" you say, listen and be amazed. When I found out I was pregnant with Ben, Colin was shocked. He was unsure of our future and only until Ben was born did Colin seem at peace with being a daddy. I was sure that it would be difficult to convince Colin to ever have another one. I was sure that down the road sometime, I would have to delicately inform Colin that he would be a father of two. I was wrong.

Let me clarify, I AM NOT PREGNANT! (But I thought I was yesterday.) I told my dear husband that we might be in for a crazy year and instead of freaking out, he said "Oh good, I was thinking that other day when I was playing with Ben, that I want another baby." This shocked me! Anyway, I took the test and it ended up negative and I was jumping for joy. Colin on the other hand cried. (I'm sure he'll love me for telling you all that a grown man cried.) He was sad that I wasn't pregnant. He had decided that because Ben was more wonderful than he had ever imagined, he wanted more kids! This is truly the most magical trick that I have seen Ben perform. He changed a person's heart.

Leave it to the babies to do all of the magic tricks folks, it comes easy to them.
And, if I still haven't convinced any of you stage magic fans, then by all means, enjoy the show! But I promise, Ben could do it better.

Thanksgiving

This year we Smith's have celebrated many firsts. Too many to name, really, but I am reminded of how special they all are during the season of thanks. I guess this is just going to be a list of the things that have taught me how to love life with my baby boy and Colin, good and bad!

I am thankful for:

-God's amazing grace.
-The opportuniy I have been given to raise a child of God.
-Every smile that Benjamin has ever shown me.
-My marriage, which gets better every day.
-Patience.
-Tiny hands and toes.
-Baby kisses, especially wet ones!
-Sleeping Ben.
-Bedtimes and structured schedules.
-Technology and our new endless limits of communication.
-The fact that babies forgive you while you learn how to be a good parent.
-Showers.
-Disposable diapers.
-Coffee.
-Ben's laugh.
-A loving husband who works so hard.
-Ben's first tooth. Because it is SO CUTE!
-The way that Babies trust us with every ounce of their being. God gave us a perfect model of how our relationship with Him should be.
-My little family and the closeness that we share.
-My own Mommy.
-My big extended family. Even the ones that hurt me over and over, because I have learned how to extend so much grace and patience because of them.
-The opportunity to share my thoughts with friends and family in this blog.

Happy belated Thanksgiving everyone!

~Erin

Great expectations...out the window

Hello to all! I'm sorry that I haven't posted in a while. Life has been crazy around here. As some of you know, we recently moved to Marysville, WA and Colin has a fantastic new job! I am also able to stay home and not work (for money :P) now because of our new geographic and vocational change. Yay! And, now that we are caught up, here's the fun stuff.

Ever since Ben graced us with his presence, my life and brain have been in a constant state of change. I think the biggest difference I see in myself is how I deal with other people's opinions and advice. My big epiphany came when I realized how angry and guilty I felt after having an emergency c-section after 24 hours of labor. I had been in the hospital for a full week before Ben was born and I thought that even though the last week of my pregnancy was not as I had planned it, I was expecting the birth itself to be perfect. I was planning on a drug-free, calm, smooth experience. Obviously that didn't happen.

I remember holding my sweet boy for the first time alone and thinking "Thank you God, he is so perfect, but I wish that I could have had a natural birth, that would make him even more perfect." This is when the gigantic hand came down from heaven and smacked me on the face. I realized then and there that I had become a sponge, soaking up whatever my family and friends had told me was the "right way to do things." I had been pushed from all directions to have a natural birth, because natural is best, and if you don't go natural, your baby will be born with four arms and cry pesticides instead of tears. (As you can see from my last statement I have a bit of a chip on my shoulder)

Anyway, what I ended up concluding is that I have a perfect baby boy because of God's grace. That's it, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. I have learned to trust my own instincts when it comes to parenting and taking care of my family. I can now listen to people politely but I don't feel guilty anymore because I made a decision that went against a friend or family member's advice. I have to say that I feel liberated and free these days because I am doing what I think is right and I am trusting God to push me in the right direction. And believe me, when it's time to hold another sweet new baby for the first time, I will think (c-section and all) "Thank you God for my beautiful child, this is perfect, because you made this."