Johnny Cash and goosebumps

There is no music in the world that can make me cry and give me goosebumps like the man in black, Mr. Johnny Cash. I was sitting here with Ben on my knee, trying to check my mail, when he started fussing. I was inspired to put some music on and as I put on "Bridge Over Troubled Water" Ben calmed down. The perfect harmony of Johhny and June's voices made my eyes start water and I whispered to my baby boy "someday Ben, you'll listen to this music and it will change you, because it changed me"

I guess the purpose of this post is really to thank my Daddy. I can't blame anyone in the world for making me love music other than my father. I can remember rainy days when we would put on "Bob Marley: Legend" and we would dance around the living room until I had an asthma attack. Or those days when I felt sad, Dad would put on some Bob Dylan or Buffalo Springfield and I let the music feel sad for me.

Colin and I have talked a lot about how we want to raise Ben and some things we aren't sure about yet, but one thing is for sure, he will grow up in a home full of music. Just like I did. One day he will thank us for it.

Little baby, big mess

Over the past five months Colin and I have really enjoyed the world of being parents. We think that our baby is cuter than all other babies, we have an unhealthy obsession with Ben's poo (consistency, texture, regularity, etc.), Ben has been sleeping through the night since he was ten weeks old, I can't stop buying baby clothes (we may look like bums but Ben is one well dressed lad), and our hearts are full to the brim with love for our new lil guy. I would say that we have no complaints but that would be a lie I have one...

One complaint that is, CLUTTER. Yes clutter, and the worst kind of all, baby clutter. I feel as though baby clutter can only be related effectively to a disease. It starts out small, unobtrusive even but over time it grows into a huge pulsating mess of tiny socks and large primary colored toys. We began with a dresser of clothes, a crib and a bouncy seat. That didn't last long. Ben needed a swing, and a stroller, and a garish play mat with a billion dangling toys, next the mother of all eyesores...The exersaucer. For those of you who aren't familiar with these monstrosities, please see the picture above


I am not sure if there is a solution to this problem, and to be honest, if it makes Benjamin happy, then we'll do whatever it takes. But I will say, Ben, you can have your A.D.D. causing exersaucer, but I draw the line at a bounce house. Period, paragraph!

The "now I get it" moment

For all of you who have children, I thought that you were all crazy for the past four months. Ben started out life as just a little "peanut" as the nurses called him. He was cute but fussy. He took to breastfeeding like a champ but he wanted to eat ALL THE TIME. I remember many days in the first few months where I would hold a screaming baby for hours and wonder "why the heck do we have kids? There is no reward in this non-stop, unpaid job." I asked Colin if he had any idea why we had a baby and he gave me an answer that I won't write here but needless to say , it didn't help. I finally Called my wonderful sister-in-law Heather who has three boys and at the time was pregnant with her fourth (a girl)! I asked her "Does this ever get better? Will I ever be rewarded for my work?" She told me "you'll see, You'll know in a few months." And I did.

Ben had been practicing his smiles in his sleep for us. One day when he was about 14 weeks old I was playing with him on the bed after his morning feeding. I was kissing him and tickling his feet and then all of a sudden something changed in his eyes and a big smile came across his whole face. I felt my eyes start to sting and then I cried. "He's a real boy!" I sobbed. Now two months later at four and a half months old, I get all kinds of fun smiles, giggles and even snuggles from my Ben, but I can still remember the days when I didn't get it. Now, I SO get it.

Thank heaven for little boys

Dearest Benjamin,

The past four and a half months of my life have been the best that I have ever had. On March 28th, 2006 you were born and my world was turned upside down. I never knew that I could love a little five pound baby so much and my love has grown exponentially every day. I want to write this blog for you. I want to document every little thing that you do that makes me smile, cry, or laugh. I love you little guy, you are my sunshine.

Love,
Your Mommy