The picture that will make Gemma cringe in 10 years

I'm not really sure what else to say about this picture, but that Gemma will most likely dislike this picture in ten years. I personally, think that it captures the spirit of The Moot quite well and I will relish showing it to her future husband. :)

Sporty Shorts

Ben has decided to wear sports themed underwear today in lieu of pants. He is calling them his "sporty shorts." The fancy underwear are nicely complimented by a cowboy themed tee-shirt and green froggy rubber boots. Should I be worried?

Ranch Dressing

I just went out back and cut a ton of fresh chives. They made my hands smell, but I don't mind it right now at least. Anyway, in order to use my bounty I whipped up some scrum-didily-umptious ranch dressing. Here's the recipe:

1 cup of non-fat plain yougurt
1/8 cup of mayonnaise
1/8 cup finely chopped chives
2 cloves of fresh garlic, pressed
1 teaspoon of dill
1 Tablespoon of dried parsley
1/2 teaspoon of onion powder (NOT onion salt)
1 teaspoon of Kosher salt

Put all ingredients into a mini food processor and give it a few pulses (until it turns a lovely light-green hue) and then store in a jar or airtight container.

Why Naps For Mommy Are a Bad Idea

Today has been pretty interesting. I'm not going to say bad because despite all that has transpired today, I'm still pretty bubbly. The day started with Ben bouncing in to our room at 5:45 am to inform us (cheerfully, mind you) that his mouth hurt. Upon hearing this revelation I realized that crap, my throat hurts. Ahhhhh, I see now. After my revelation Colin croaked out, "I feel sick, my throat hurts." Seeing as how Gemma has been sick for a day already, I now understand that every one of the Smiths has a cold at the same time.

When Gemma's nap-time came, I was exhausted. I almost fell asleep reading "Frog and Toad" to Ben so I decided to rest while Gemma was napping. I closed my door and had Ben come into my room and play with some books and toys. He was a bit feisty in the beginning, slamming the closet door repeatedly, but eventually he quieted down and I tripped off to dreamland.

When I woke up 45 minutes later, I had a little surprise waiting for me. I had (un-opened) tampons on my head "making Mommy pretty." Ben found my bag of feminine items and he had collected them in an empty laundry basket. He was pushing them out of the side of basket torpedo-style and saying that he was "Shooting sticks. For my work." I'm sorry Ben, but what job is this exactly? I fail to see how that is legitimate work. That was not the end of the madness. The floor had sanitary napkins adhered to it and I was told by Ben that, again, "I'm doing my work, I put windows all over the floor."

This is what I get for taking a nap. I knew I should have ignored all of those unwanted bits of advice to "sleep when your baby sleeps."

Ass-tronomy lesson

I've always stayed away from potty humor. I honestly do not think that it's funny. The males in our house are usually very polite and never make rude jokes (out-loud at least). Until today. I have been teaching Ben the order of the planets. He's very interested in all things astronomical and has decided that he will "be an astronaut and go on missions" someday. Anyhow, he was doing such a good job learning. I was having him recite the planets for Colin and it took a turn for the worse around the seventh planet. Here's how it went down:

Me: "Ben, tell Daddy the order of the planets."
Ben: "Mercury, Venus, Erf (Earth), Mars..."
Me: "What's the big one Ben?"
Ben: "Oh! Jupiter. Ummm..."
Me: "The one with rings."
Ben: "Saturn!"
Me: "What's next?"
Ben: Stares blankly
Me: "Urrrr...."
Colin: "Your Butt!"
Ben: "He he, your butt!!! Uranus!"
Me: "Good job Colin."

We didn't get to Neptune.

Ben ate dinner in an unusually good mood because of his new joke, occasionally yelling "your butt!" It was soooo classy. I couldn't be more proud. The worst part was, I found myself hiding snickers from Ben. I never laugh at this kind of thing but this time, I just couldn't help myself.

Gemma's special words

Here are a few silly and cute things that Gemma says:

Gummy- Monkey
Mommy
Daddy
Bee- Ben
Dapee- Diaper
Booby- Poopy
Wubby- Water
Cuppy- Cup
EAT!
Dees! Dees!- Cheeks! Cheeks! (said while pinching my cheeks)
Uppy- Up
Dow- Down
Bookie- Book
Buckie- Binkie
Walkie- Walk
Caw- Chalk
Weeeee!- Slide or swing
Ba, Ba- Splash, splash
Beh Bee- Baby
Tseees- Cheese

Egg-free recipes

As some of you know, our dear girl is allergic to eggs. It has been interesting trying to feed her and we've pretty much banned foods with eggs in them around the house. My biggest challenge has been baking without the leavening properties of egg. I thought I would post some recipes on my blog so that I can use them and also, in case you ever want to bake for us, you can have some safe recipes. :)



Eggless Blueberry Muffins

Ingredients:
2 cups all-purpose flour ( I’ve been trying to use more whole wheat flour so I use 1 cup whole wheat flour and 1 cup regular)
1 cup sugar, plus 2 tsp. more
4 tsp. baking powder
1 cup milk
3 Tbs. melted butter
1 cup fresh blueberries
Raw sugar crystals for the top

Heat oven to 350. Line 12 muffin cups with paper liners. Combine flour, sugar and baking powder in a medium-size bowl. Stir in milk by hand and melted butter. Fold in blueberries. Fill each cup 2/3 full. Sprinkle tops of muffins with raw sugar. Bake at 350 for 25 minutes.


Carrot Cake Loaf

Ingredients
9 large carrots, shredded
2 cups flour
2 cups of sugar
1/2 cup raisins; chopped (either golden or dark raisins)
2 large bananas; mashed
1 cup apple sauce
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp pumpkin pie spice
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
Optional: 1 cup of chopped walnuts

Directions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Grease and flour two loaf pans OR line the pans with "release" aluminum foil
Mix all ingredients thoroughly until well combined.
Bake about 1 hour or until top browns.
If you want to glaze your loaves, just mix 2 cups of powdered sugar with 1-2 TB of milk or cream.
You can make a thinner glaze by adding more liquid.
Pour this over the cooled loaves and spread evenly.

Anatomy 101

How often do we take for granted our vocabularies and the knowledge that we have. Sure, we know our body parts, their names and functions but we had to learn that all and someone taught us. I decided to teach Ben a more in-depth understanding of his body. Gemma is currently learning to touch her eye when we say "eye" and so on. It's very cute because whenever we say (in that border-line pratronizingly sweet voice) "Where's Gemmma's nose?" She presses her little snoot as flat as it can get and then starts making a whistley sniff sound while crinkling her eyes up and shreiking with delight. She's a doll.

Anyway, Ben's understanding of his bady is a bit more advanced than Gemma's condsiring the fact that he's has had two extra years to learn about the human body. I have been quizzing him about the lesser-know body parts. How many people know where their philtrum is? Well, Ben knows. He can now identify his philtrum, septum, nostrils, palate, gums, taste buds, temple, eye lids, jaw, scalp, throat, ear lobes, thumb, pinkie fingers, index fingers, knuckles, ball of foot, arch and heel. He has also learned the five senses and the parts that give us the ability to hear, see, smell, taste, and touch. Let me remind you that he's not even three yet. I know I'm bragging. I'm honestly, just really impressed with my little genius.

Quoteable Quotes

Okay here are some cute quotes from Ben (who refuses to be called anything but "Monkey Moo" at the moment). Right now The Moot (aka Gemma) is at the "ba ba ba, ma ma" stage so her quotes aren't quite as memorable as Ben's but her time will come.

Ben saw his pool hanging in the garage and very sadly told Colin: "That is my swimming pool. I love to play in it, but it is taking a nap."

The other day Ben said "A am a stinky vinegaroon. I need to take a bath."

While playing together Gemma managed to get a hold of Ben's hair and pull a chunk of it out by the roots. Ben didn't cry or fight back but he looked up at me with a pained expression while holding his head and said "Does Ben's head hurt?"

We call Gemma our vacuum baby because she spends her days scanning the carpet for lint, hair, crumbs, rocks and anything else gross that shouldn't be eaten, so that she can eat it. While my mom was babysitting the other day, Gemma has gotten under the table and was doing her vacuuming and Ben said to my mom in a slightly disgusted tone of voice "Those are called bits, Gemma eats the bits." He has also tattled on her and exclaimed "Mommy! Moot (Gemma) is being a vacuum baby!"

The other day I brought Ben into bed with me because he woke up way too early and I was hoping that he would go back to sleep. That did NOT happen. instead he wiggled around and entertained himself by annoying me while I tried to sleep. I actually did fall back to sleep for a bit but once he realized that I was sleeping he located a hole on my shirt and poked his finger through it. He thought it was hilarious and he kept on on poking me and then finally asked me "Are you naked?" Groggily I said "no Ben." To which Ben replied "Are you half naked?" I then got to explain why holes in clothing existed. I did not get to go back to sleep.


Words that are not said properly at the moment:

yeast- "geese"
zit- "zip"
camera- "crama"
Sandal- "sannual"
Buzz Lightyear- "Bud White-Ear"

Big Sky Country

I'm getting excited for our trip to Montana! If you've never been there then you can't understand that the sky really is BIG there. I'm a bit anxious about the incredibly long drive but we've done it twice before just not with two kids. We have a lot of fun things planned mostly involving food or the out-of-doors. Anyway, I'm just glad that Colin finally decided that he didn't know enough about sailing (from reading on the internet)to rent a 20' sailboat. I was a good wife and didn't crush his dreams, but good gracious, I was relieved when I could put my abundant and irrational fears to rest. If you are reading this, sorry Colin! :D

We are leaving tomorrow at 4:00 am and we will be Tweeting (on the website "Twitter") along I-90 from here to there. We would be overjoyed if you want to follow us along the way. Please do so at :

https://twitter.com/ErinEliseSmith
and
https://twitter.com/davidcolinsmith

Sewing and other notions

I decided recently that I wanted to sew and so now I'm kind of going nuts with it. I thought that I'd put up some pictures of Gemma in my homemade creations. I have been kind of making the designs up so that has been fun. Who needs patterns right.... Fabric was purchased from www.sewmamasew.com.

Mommy-Of-Two Olympics

Colin got off work late last night and I had been having a pretty stressful day. He called as he was leaving the office and I suggested that we have pizza for dinner. All I had to do was call it in and he would pick it up. I also had to pre-heat the oven. This seemingly simple task turned out to be the most challenging 30 minutes of my day. As it turns out, I was in the Mommy-Of-Two Olympics and I had to win the gold before I had my reward, a dinner prepared by someone else. Here's the play-by-play.

Welcome ladies and gentlemen! Thanks for tuning into to the Mommy-Of-Two Olympics! Our competitor today is Erin Smith. Let's see how she does. She's at the starting line and, she's off!

Erin starts the competition strong with a bolt up the stairs while holding the thirty pound Ben. She quickly sets him down to play while she finds the Papa Murphy's website, decides on a pizza, calls in and places an order under the name Colin. Amazing! This event was completed in almost record time! Now to the finish line, pre-heating the oven. But wait! She isn't done with this leg yet because Ben has just surprised her with a setback. While she was ordering he found a pump bottle of lotion and emptied it's contents onto the nightstand, smeared it in his hair and rubbed it all over his hands and arms. Erin surprisingly bounces back and scoops up Ben and washes him and the nightstand off while remaining untouched by the lotion explosion. She is moving on like a pro.

Erin starts to head downstairs to pre-heat the oven but as she is entering the hallway with Ben in tow she hears Gemma wake up from her nap with a horrific wail. Still thinking on her toes, she enters Gemma's room grabs her and plunks her on her free hip. This mom isn't going to let anything get in the way of the finish line! She bounds down the stairs with 45 pounds of dead weight on her hips and it doesn't even phase her. She's almost to the bottom of the stairs, but wait Gemma has a surprise as well she has vomited all over Erin's shirt and herself. Without skipping a beat, Erin sets Ben down at the bottom of the stairs and hurries to the living room. She strips Gemma, puts her in last nights pj's that were miraculously on the couch and tears her own barf saturated shirt off to reveal her black lacy nursing bra! But there is no time to go back upstairs to get a new shirt right now. Erin can see the oven, her finish-line. She can taste her cheesy, saucy victory.

With Gemma in the bouncy seat Erin begins her sprint to the finish. Just as she enters the final stretch she realizes that Ben is nowhere in sight. Wait! Ben has escaped onto the deck. Wasting no time, Erin runs outside to grab Ben. But wait, she is only wearing her bra! Thank God nobody sees her! With victory on the brain, Erin drags herself (with Ben on her hip) to the kitchen and turns on the oven. She's done it! She has reached her goal.

A jingle of keys is heard and the door is opened! Colin is home! What amazing timing. But wait what is that draft? Erin looks down to see that Ben has unlatched her nursing bra on one side. As Colin rounds the corner holding Erin's delicious winnings. She realizes that Colin was the true winner. He got pizza and an eyeful!

A funny thing happened on the way to the English language

Here are some funny things that Ben has said recently:

I was holding my breast pump when Ben asked
"what's that?"
He then answered his own question.
"pump!"
"Gemma's milk."
"wahhhh wahhhh wahhhh"
"Mommy's bwessss"
"besss besss"
"bassss"
"Ben's bath!"
Next, Ben looked up at me and said frankly,"I want to take a bath."

Wow! that was some serious free association!

I was asking Ben about all of the people in our family. We were going through the names of all the people we love and he didn't mention Gemma. I said What about Gemma? He looked at me and then pointed across the room at Gemma and said nonchalantly "It's over there"

I heard Ben scumbling around in the kitchen. He had obviously pulled some things off of the counter. When I entered the kitchen I saw that he was playing with a lid and a bag. I asked him what he was doing and he replied in a matter-of-fact tone "finding muffins." Oh really? I didn't know we had any muffins!

Ben likes to say "Ben is cute and po-creeshusss." He is trying to say precocious.

The Business of Being Born

Today I watched the film "The Business of Being Born." I really enjoyed it. I'm not surprised that I liked it so much considering it falls into my favorite movie genre which is, what else, documentaries. It also really touched me considering the fact that I have two children of my own and have an unhealthy obsession with hearing birth stories.

Anyway, It was really amazing and shed so much light on the flaws of modern American medicine and how birthing is treated like a business or even illness, not a beautiful, natural thing.

When I was in the hospital with Ben they induced me after a week of unrelenting high blood pressure. They gave me pitocin for five hours and then told me that they were taking me off the pitocin because there weren't enough night nurses to help me deliver. Looking back, I should have screamed in the doctors face and said "HELL NO! You started this and we are finishing when I am ready" But I didn't. My labor stalled out and even though I had gotten to 6cm so easily, I still ended up with the c-section because I was interrupted while my body was doing it's natural thing. It makes me so sad to think that I had no idea that it was my right to stay in labor.

I now see so clearly the flaws of America's health care system and it pains me to see other women who think that they are not allowed to speak up and be heard by the people that they pay to help them. The rate for c-sections in America is the highest in the world. We also have the second highest infant and maternal mortality rates in the developed world. This is appalling considering how much more we pay for health care than any other country in the world.

I highly recommend this film to anyone who has children and I would insist that anyone considering having a baby or who is pregnant must see this film! I wish that I had know what my rights were. I'm seriously considering becoming a labor and postpartum doula because it is important for me to help other women to not end up with unsatisfactory births. Sorry for the rant everyone, I feel strongly about this. If you read this far, thanks for listening!

Literally wonderful

I have so very much enjoyed my book club as of late. Last month we read a really amazing book called "Look Me In The Eye" by John Elder Robison. It is a memoir (my favorite genre)about a man with Aspergers syndrome. Really insightful and probably the cleanest book that I have read in a while. No *ahem* intimate scenes, just the occasional bad word. I highly recommend it to anyone who enjoys people studies. We also had a fun dessert theme this past month and we all brought desserts from the cook book by Jessica Seinfeld "Deceptively Delicious." I made some fantastic blueberry oatmeal bars with pureed spinach in them. Surprisingly yummy.

This month we are reading a novel titled "Away" by Amy Bloom. It has a very pretty cover. That's all that I like about it right now. I am just not able to get into it so far. Maybe things will change.

My big treat came today when my delightful mother-in-law volunteered to watch Ben for the afternoon. I started reading "Away", got four chapters in and then decided that I'd had enough and I was going to paint. After I cleaned up the house. So once i was finished nursing Gemma and tidying up, I painted a really nice picture for our living room. I'm actually quite proud of it. I think that I will buy a frame for it with my fun money. I've posted a picture for your viewing pleasure! Anyway, thank you Patty for my relaxing "me time" I really enjoyed myself! That's about all for now. Happy reading and painting to you.

Wook! Maw-sit!

The mind of a child is a curious thing. I thought that I understood kids very well but that was before I hatched two of them. I feel like learning about your kids can wear you out and frustrate you. Parents, ever heard this?

"Wook! Maw-sit!"
"What was that Ben? look at what?"
"Maw-sit"
"I don't understand"
"Maw-sit"
"Mom sit?"
"MAW-SIT" (jabs finger into stuffed monster)
"Ohhhhh, monster. Yes Ben that is a nice monster"

Note to Mommy, maw-sit equals monster. I do this daily, learn new words in Ben-ese. If I didn't do it, almost nobody would understand him and how frustrating would that be for Ben? This is my job folks. I interpret made up languages, change poopy diapers, force-feed veggies even if I have to puree them, comfort hurt and sick babies and save the world* on a daily basis.
*Saving the world often means finding a favorite lost toy.


I don't honestly feel that I could be the best mom for Ben if I didn't understand that the word for snack is "nat" or that he is calmed down during a tantrum by chewing on a soggy brown blanket fondly named "Yucky." And that's another thing. Ben names things. His Blankets are "yucky" and "cozy". The stuffed animals are "Zaz" the moose, "Kimmit"the penguin, "Sero" the monkey and "Ginger" the horse. Names are important to him.

Gemma is another story all together. She is so different from Ben. Of course she is only two and a half months old but I already know so much about her. She only fusses when she wants something. Usually it's food, a new diaper or a nap but lately she has started fussing when she feels lonely. This is a new thing for me. If any of you know Ben he is very independent. He never wants to cuddle, he plays by himself most of the time and for a while if I tried to feed him he would refuse to eat unless he put the food in his mouth by himself. But, Gemma loves people. She thrives when she is being held and cuddled and looked at. She will actually sleep in my arms, a rare occurrence for Ben even when he was first born.

I can't even imagine what it would be like to spend all day away from my babies and expect to know a scrap of insightful info about them. Thank God for stay-at-home mom-ism!

Painting to the White Stripes

Today Benjamin and I had a grand old time finger painting and listening to the crunchy rock'n'roll of The White Stripes. We sat at the dining table and basked in the blinding sunlight while we both smeared paint around with sponges, brushes and best of all, our hands. At first Ben was trying to avoid getting his hands gloopy. He kept saying "messy, messy." Eventually, he went in for the kill and stuck his hand in a blob of red paint.

I painted a rocket ship in space and Ben decided to copy me. His first piece was titled "rocket." His second piece was titled "banana muffin cupcake." The first picture actually looked like he was trying to copy mine it was pretty neat. Maybe he'll be an artist someday.

After Ben had lunch, threw a fit because there was no more paint, and then went upstairs for his nap wile proclaiming loudly, "rock on!" I decided to write a blog about it all.

While uploading my pictures, I was nursing Gemma at the computer and she got inspired by Ben's works of art. She attempted to create a very abstract painting of a mom. It was me sitting in a chair with vomit covering my arm, leg and crotch. She was very thorough in covering her canvas. Obviously spit-up was her medium and I was the unassuming canvas. She titled her piece "vommy mommy." I got to go express my artistic feelings with the washing machine. I really poured that soap with flare. Too bad it got washed away. Honestly, I had a great afternoon. Rock on!

Chatter box

Ben is such a little chatter box! When he is around people that he is comfortable with, he will not stop talking! I'm just going to record a few funny things that he has said recently so that I don't forget them.

At my parents house, we were having dinner and Ben was asked if the thought Gemma was pretty. He replied matter of factly "she's sick."

That same night while eating he refused to eat his lasagna which he usually loves. We asked if he wanted to eat his dinner and he shifted his gaze to the full plate of food and slowly shook his head while saying "I don't like it" with much disgust.

Ben heard me saying "Oh Gemma Gemma" and "Oh Gemma Lou." He now walks around the house when hears Gemma crying saying "Oooh Gemma Gemma Gemma, oooh Gemma Wooo" (he can't say L's).

Last night at Colin's parent's house we were all being chattered at by Ben during dinner. He decided to give a full narrative of the movie 'Finding Nemo' which he watched in it's entirety while perched atop his "ginger horsey." It went something like this:
"Nemo, Dowee (Dory)"
"Scary shrap (shark), water, mine, mine, mine"
"Finding...Nemo, Goot...movie"
"Goot...movie"
"Happened? Finding...Nemo"
"Swim Down, Fish, Bad, Arr Arr"
"Yeah! happened?"
"Goot movie."
"watch it, show, goot...movie"
"Oh baby"

Repeat five times. I have no idea where the "oh baby" came from.

Ben was given a Curious George jack-in-the-box by his Grandma patty and Grandpa Stan. He enjoyed watching us turn the crank for him, but was frustrated when he tried to do it himself. He soon figured out that he could make the monkey pop by pressing the little release on the lid. I tried to show him how fun it was to wait for the monkey but as I was helping him turn the crank he got impatient and clenched his teeth and glared at the box. He then growled "Hey! You! Monkeeeey!." It had us all in stitches.

Ben loves to listen to music. He will often request to listen to "Harray Connuck" and "Johnny...pause...Cashhh"

Of course, if you ask Ben to repeat any of this he will just look at you, smile, and say "Noooo" in a very agreeable and high pitched tone.

Mommy time a la book club

Over the past two years, I haven't taken much time for myself. I can remember very few days when I was able to enjoy time all alone. that is one of the hardest things for me to deal with as a mom. I can take a lot of crap (literally) from my kids. I love watching them grow and knowing that I helped make them who they are. However, it can be a bit draining for this mommy to not have alone time. I LOVE alone time.

So, in order to give myself a little break, I joined my playgroup's book club. I felt so good about myself when I actually finished a WHOLE book (Water For Elephants by Sarah Gruen). The kicker was that I got to go and have a girls night and talk with my friends about what we read. I know that lots of people have been in book clubs, but this is my first and I am loving it.

Of course we talked about the book but we also spent a good amount of time laughing. We heard stories about a deranged ex-boy friend who still sucked his thumb, moms who nursed their kids to age five and older, and of course we all shared stories and asked for advice about our own kiddos. I had a great time. Colin, if you read this, thanks so much for letting me abandon you for a night! I owe you one.

The Smith children's inheritance.

I am proud to announce that my children have already received their inheritance from Colin and me. However, it's not money. They have been given our eczema, my big cheeks, Colin's beautiful eyes, and a treasure trove of odd personality quirks. I feel bad for our kids that they have to have some of these traits but I guess that in order to get the good stuff like musical ability and long skinny fingers, you have to take the eczema and in-grown toenails with grace.

I am really awestruck every day when I wake up and see myself and the person that I love the most in the world (Colin) manifested in two amazing children. However, I feel guilty when I see poor little Gemma with a crusty rash all over her face that is the fault of both me and Colin since we both have eczema. Then I remember that she also has my thick hair. It took me a while to like my hair, but now I love it. Ben has Colin's sturdy frame, which makes it hard to lift him, but he also has his sweet and mellow disposition. Of course they aren't exactly like us, but it is just so neat to see what they did inherit.

Anyhow, I'm not sure where I wanted to go with this, but I wanted to put up a couple pictures to show how Ben inherited my "squink eye."